*This post also appears with our friends at The Good Men Project.

It's been said that humans are complex creatures. We can be boiled down to one thing: We want to know that we matter, to someone. That our presence as a human is validated, appreciated. We want to be heard.

A month ago, I started a new list of what I want:

+ full, active, engaged support

+ independent happiness

+ freedom to be & do

+ presence

+ adventure

+ to be heard

+ celebration & to be celebrated

+ to be hugged

+ surprises

+ to be challenged, engaged in thought, conversation and habits

+ partnership in business

+ fun & spontaneity

+ shared activities - festivals, movies, museum nights, local music, walks, bike rides, brunches

+ to outsource all the "minimum wage activities" = for me, house cleaning, lawn care, grocery shopping

+ weekly massages & floating in epsom salt water

+ a garden (community or in own yard) to grow our own food

+ variety of experiences - new and familiar 

+ social meals with friends, new friends, strangers, business partners

+ to read & write in coffee shops, parks

+ to feel safe, secure, held, heard, seen, respected, honored, adored, loved, liked, cared for

+ a date. to date. to court and be courted.

+ curiosity

+ to live at the beach, in a groovy little beach town

+ to have a mountain cabin

+ patience

+ old fashioned manners & etiquette 

+ a life of abundance

+ growth & change

+ good, loving, kind, giving heart level of energy

+ self love & self care

+ meditation & spirituality

+ walks, bike rides, fitness

+ healthy, nutritious, natural cooking & consumption

+ compassion & empathy

And now, for things I definitely don't want:

- anger

- to be ignored

- complacency

- unhealthy habits

- stagnation

- a life of "no"

- fear & lack

- messy home

- jealousy

- misaligned priorities

- a life without friends or social activities 

- poor health

- to be tolerated

- imbalance

- lack of trust

- to not be appreciated

- religion

- laziness

- anger

- hate

- deceptive behavior

- manipulation

- cheating

- to be taken advantage of

- irresponsibility

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It's always important to know what you want, to know what you don't want, and to learn to let your wants, needs, desires, beliefs and opinions change with the winds of life. What's good for one might be detrimental to another, this is my list as it flows from my pen currently. It might look very differently next year, or tomorrow. 

What do you want? What do you not want? What are your boundaries? Do you feel confident setting them in your life?