Photo by Agnieszka Kowalczyk on Unsplash
Warning: Triggering subject ahead.
Gender conformity. What is its purpose? Why are we forced into one of two boxes? Do you know Native Americans recognized five genders before the Europeans enforced their culture and way of life on what was America as some of our ancestors knew it? If you hadn’t been taught to be like a girl, or be like a boy, what would you feel you were drawn to? And, why does it matter so damn much?
This is something I've experienced myself, for being a "tomboy" growing up (and many thought it was just a phase I'd grow out of, ha!) and now looking like I do now, with short hair and polo shirts and nice shoes. I remember scream-crying about having to wear lacy socks and dresses when I was very very little, about two years old if my calculations are accurate. I wasn’t taught to like boy things, nor to love a woman instead of a man. I was taught the opposite, by my loving parents trying to do what was right, to date boys, to be more girly, to be normal, to fit in. But I didn’t want to, it didn’t feel right, what is normal? and who actually fits in, and what are we fitting into?
I've learned to navigate the world and use humor and charm and smiles to soften most people before they can have a different reaction or commentary. I also have strong and conflicting appreciation of etiquette, which is extremely gender separating, though I just amend the rules to what makes sense in situations ... like protecting Tosca's petticoat from carriage splash by walking on the street side.
However, Trevor hasn't fully learned how to navigate all of the gender expectations because he quite frankly doesn't care about them and has the most beautiful long blonde hair I've ever seen, which is confusing to those that don't know him. We are a fun adventure to go out with! Who says pink is for girls and blue is for boys, anyway? Because it used to be the opposite. Why do we put these limitations on each other, that actually matter 0% in the reality of being a good person?
He cares far more about not polluting the planet and making sure people are kind to each other, and animals are safe and people are loved and he doesn't have bad dreams and Tosca has a good day, than he does about ridiculous rules. Each generation is here to make the world a better place than the previous. These kids are special, ya'll. They are smart and take no BS.
The times, they are a changin.